Abandoned Spaces Follow-Up

I found another one!

Abandoned Spaces

Listen to this while you read:

I love abandoned spaces. There's something super cool and romantic to me about exploring and finding beauty in a place that someone else wrote off! So it made me happy the other day when I was working and we ran across this platform that had been hit really hard by Katrina and had essentially been left to the elements. It looked cool to me and it was really foggy outside so I felt isolated (which is great when you've been living around five other guys for the past two weeks), like I was off exploring just by myself. The whole thing was dilapidated and all the fixtures and pipes (and sometimes the ground) were rusting off.

Here are some of the pictures I took while I was there:

There was an old office sitting on a bridge halfway between two of the platforms. It looked like no one had been in there since the hurricane, everything just the way they left it before the wind and and rain took their toll. On the door were a few standard signs including this:

You see silly signs like this all over the oil fields but this one ended up being rather ironic when you opened the office door. Trash and binders littered the floor while the desk looked like it had been through, well... a hurricane. It was cool thinking I may have been the first one to go in there since the storm. The floor tiles were fading and cracked, leaving holes in some of the ground open to the hundred foot drop to the ocean below.

Sometimes it's tough to find enjoyment and solitude when working away from home, so I'm glad I found this place. I figured I'd share it and maybe spread some joy your way!

Here's a link to an article I like about other abandoned spaces. I really love the Detroit, Chernobyl and City Hall Subway photos.

Bye for now, friends. Hopefully I'll run into some other cool stuff out here and be able to share it with you!

Zach

New Job, Letters, Roadtrip

So this is my first post since I’ve gotten a job. On the job front, it’s pretty awesome so far. I get to spend time offshore working outdoors and I like the people I work with. I’ve answered questions about it ad nauseum so I’ll go ahead and direct you to the company website so you have an idea what I do: www.stoprust.com (of course I’ll be happy to answer more questions if you have them).

So much of the three months of my life between graduation and finding a job were dominated by the search that it was essentially the only thing on my mind. I sort of subconsciously thought that if I got a job then everything would fall into place. So far this hasn’t been the case. In fact, rather the opposite. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have a job… Really happy. But in this, another transitional period in my life, I’m trying to figure out how to properly balance work and everything else.

This brings me to the point of my post.

I’ve never been wonderful about keeping up with friends and this newfound lack of time is making it even easier to let active communication fall by the wayside. To combat this, I’m making a goal to (when physically possible) write three letters a week to friends and family so as to better keep in touch. I’m gonna start hassling people (see: you) for mailing addresses soon so you may as well save yourself some trouble and message/text/email me your address now.

Following the need to achieve balance in my life by maintaining relationships I’m finding a need to spend what money I am making on stuff that matters to me. Things and stuff have never been a huge interest for me so I’m looking to spend my money on experiences. I want to travel. I want to go all over the US and eventually abroad. This is where you come in again. A nifty way to merge friends and travel is to travel with friends. The roadtrip I took with Sam, Patrick and Jimmie through Colorado was one of the cooler experiences in my short life and also relatively inexpensive. I want to start planning a road trip for this coming summer and I want people to go with and I want suggestions for places to go. I’ll be hassling people about suggestions and RSVPs relatively soon so, again, just save yourself the trouble of being hunted down and respond! To got you in the mood, here are some pics from the last roadtrip:

Sam

Jimmie

Me

We liked jumping off rock pictures a lot. You know why? 'Cause they're awesome.

Didn't have any of Pat jumping off a rock so that's a picture of him staring death in the face overlooking a wicked canyon. Notice the happy smile. Nerves of steel, that one.

Hopefully with these two steps I’ll end up moving closer to having proper balance. Anyone reading with other good suggestions for balancing work and play, please let me know. I’m always interested to hear advice and the perspectives of others.

Anyone living in Houston, for the love of all that is holy, let me know you live here. Besides my Mom and my sister I only know two or three people that are around. Everyone else, get ready, you’re getting letters and/or personal visits sometime in the near future.

<3s

Zach

I'm Afraid...

So I was listening to this song and I decided it was time to write again. It's been a while but I guess I've been busy so I don't feel so bad.

I can't say that this song links so very directly to this post, I'm not afraid of everyone, I love you all very dearly. I am, however, in a near constant state of fear that no one I know (even those close to me) is really aware of. I've been feeling that I need to be more open lately and I have trouble relating feelings directly to other people so this was the best I could come up with.

I am deathly afraid of failure, I am also mortified at the thought of the unknown. As you can imagine this is a terrible combination for a soon to be college graduate without a job waiting for him when he finishes. I constantly find myself fearing that I won't be good enough and no one will hire me and everyone I know will think I'm a failure because I can't get a job. I'm afraid because I don't have any idea what's going to happen at the time when I graduate (as I write this sentence that is exactly 16 days, 9 hours and 57 minutes).

I don't want this fear to define my life, for the next 2+ weeks 'til graduation or for the rest of my life. I want to have peace with the uncertainty of my future and peace with the understanding that a job is not who I am. So much of the last three and a half years of my life has been focused on getting a job when graduation arrives that I've convinced myself that a job is my goal but that's not entirely true. I feel that the job I will hopefully get in the near future will be a part of my life but it will not define me as a person. I will not be my job. With that understanding I have to be at peace with what is both a relieving and somewhat uncomfortable truth: whether I get a job soon or not doesn't alter who I am. No matter how much of my recent focus has been on honing job skills and writing resumes the job I may or may not get does not encompass everything that is me.

Someday I hope to get to a point where I can wholeheartedly understand this concept. I want to be able to be content whether I'm earning a six figures or mopping floors for minimum wage but I'm not at that point in my life right now.

Looking back on this I'm not sure there's any resolution here... and maybe there never will be. I'm also not looking for pity or for comfort but I think it's important that people who care about me know that I'm afraid. Anybody else?

Interesting quotations from The Quiet American

Listen to this while you read:

A few quotations that I found interesting in The Quiet American by Graham Greene.

"It takes a long time before we cease to feel proud of being wanted. Though God knows why we should feel it when we look around and see who else is wanted too."

"To be in love is to see yourself as someone else sees you, it is to be in love with the falsified and exalted image of yourself. In love we are incapable of honour---the courageous act is no more than playing a part to an audience of two."

"The hurt is in the act of possession: we are too small in body and mind to possess another person without pride or to be possessed without humiliation."

Continuation/Evolution from May 25th

OK, so I really haven't written anything of substance here in a long time. That being said don't let my last statement trick you into believing I'll be writing something of substance this time. Last time I wrote about the brevity of the human experience and how grateful I am for everyone that's been a part of my experience so far. Continuing on this theme I have a quote from a book a friend recommended to me that hit me pretty hard. It may not be the same for everyone but I feel like sharing it just in case:

"Seriousness, young man, is an accident of time. It consists, I don't mind telling you in confidence, in putting too high a value on time. I, too, once put too high a value on time. For that reason I wished to be a hundred years old. In eternity, however, there is no time, you see. Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

This is an exchange between the ghost of Mozart and Harry Haller, a character in the book "Steppenwolf" by Herman Hesse. At the time I read this I feel I was taking life and time perhaps a little too seriously. Not necessarily in everyday life---if you know me you know that I'm never "serious" unless I'm absolutely forced to be so---but in my conceptual views of life. I was disappointed in myself for the ways in which I sometimes "waste" time and struggled with the concept of exchanging time for money (working any job). All in all maybe I wasn't considering things in a light enough manner this summer? I've heard before that "life is too important to be taken seriously" but never really gave it too much thought.

This post is less of a finished work and more of a vehicle through which I hope to foster discussion here and with my friends/family so lemme know what you think.

Placeholder

This is one of the most pure things I've ever heard.

In the future I'm going to finish collecting all these thoughts and throw another blog atcha. For night now, this post serves as a placeholder to remind me of what I want to write.

Hey you! Thanks.

Hola, amigos. What up? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things got crazy, if you know what I mean. Props to anyone who knows from which author that previous sentence was stolen (without googling it, Jimmie). Anyways, it has been a while but I'm a college student so I was doing college student-y stuff. Gimme a break.

So... this is gonna be a pretty serious-like blog post and I'm still not sure how I feel about blogging on topics that are really important to me. I may choose to leave this up, I may not.

If you've hung out with me lately and we've had some time to talk I'm pretty sure you're heard me lament the speed at which I've finally realized time is passing. I've probably told you that in 10 years I'll be 31 and in 2090 (choosing a specific year helps me realize how close and tangible the amount of time involved is) I will most likely be dead.

Relatively speaking, I'm not gonna be alive much longer. Neither are you.

This realization has impacted my life in some pretty practical ways. Now I spend my days trying not to fall into patterns. It's too easy to have a conversation with someone without thinking but instead relying on social norms and colloquialisms to make sure nothing actually ever gets said. If I'm going to use precious time talking to someone, why not make sure something worthwhile actually gets said? If we talk and it seems like I'm falling into a conversational rut please mention it. I don't want to waste your time or mine with something utterly devoid of meaning.

I'm still trying to work out how this should all impact my future. The standard decision after going to college is getting a full-time job and working 'til retirement. I'm not sure if that's what I want. Since time is so valuable, is trading my time for money really something I want to do? And at a certain point, what amount of money worth a certain amount of my time? In the grand scheme of things, money is replenish-able and time is not so would there ever be a fair exchange? I'd definitely appreciate thoughts on that point if you'd like to give them (in the comment box, in person, whatever. I'd really like to hear some opinions).

I've been on the world's biggest Yeasayer kick lately and I feel like their song "Red Cave" (posted above) is really representative of my current approach to life, or at the very least what I'd like my approach to be. The final line of the song (OK, the last like... 30 lines) is:

"I'm so blessed to have spent good time with my family and the friends I love. In my short life I have met so many people I deeply care for."

Ultimately I would say that's what this blog post is about. It's about people. I love my family and my friends so much (though I may not always love them in the way they need to be loved). In a slightly different way I'm grateful to absolutely everyone who has been a part of my life, no matter how brief or long the period of time or the value judgment placed on our interaction in terms of whether it was "good" or "bad". I put good and bad in quotations there to emphasize the fact that no matter how the individual experiences my life is made of turned out at the time, those experiences (both "good" and "bad") shaped me into who I am today. And that conglomeration of experiences resulted in me---my personality, my mind, my take on the world.

I'm assuming that you're reading this blog because you know me, so in light of that last paragraph I would like to say thank you. I've been blessed with an awesome family, amazing friends (who are still friends with me even when I act like a jackass) and the time to spend with those people.

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If you made it all this way and read the giant text-fist above you deserve a treat. Here's a picture to brighten your day:

I don't know if you're aware but I freaking love baby penguins. So much.

Shout outs to:

Austin Smith: currently scouring the Italian countryside for a suitable wife.

Hannah Smith: currently caring for some "presh" children in the vaterland (Germany).

Beverly Smith: currently in the US but leaving soon for the Oberammergau Passion Play (check that link, it's a really amazing story).

Zak Kirkendall: this kid actually reads my blog. I appreciate this.

Molly Ford: she said she'd both read and comment on this post. Idn't she cool?

Double Down? More like Double Downer, amirite?

The quote featured in the title of this blog comes from my good friend and fellow KFC adventurer Glen Cupples. Along with Glen and Gary Newman I ventured to the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant closest to our respective homes on Tuesday evening to sample their newest product, the Double Down. For those of you who haven't heard about the Double Down, it's essentially bacon, cheese and special sauce sandwiched between two fried chicken breasts.

According to the LA Times Blog "The nutrition facts aren’t the best, as you can imagine. The Double Down weighs in at 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and -- hold on -- 1,380 milligrams of sodium." In other words, this sandwich is not good for you.

I recorded some quotes from our experience to help you grasp what it felt like.

The most telling quote from the afternoon was the first thing Glen said when he finished his: "I think I need to wash my hands". And we all agreed, this thing was covered in grease.

Here are some photos:

Those last two photos are representative of how I felt when I finished my sandwich: "I feel like the fast food industry just raped me". And you can see Colonel Sanders' face looking smug like he knows exactly what just happened. At the end, the sandwich they advertised as "so much chicken there wasn't room for a bun" didn't even fill us up.

Final verdict?

This sandwich was over-priced, over-hyped and underwhelming.

This telling conversation happened as we left the restaurant (as it happened to be the second new KFC hype-product we've eaten together):

Glen: "Mark the day, this is the last time I'm ever going to try a new KFC product".

Gary: "I'm never eating KFC again".

Weekend wrap-up and misplaced musings

Listen to this while you read (props to Jimmie for turning me on to this video):

With any luck it's gonna take you less than nine minutes to read this post.

Many thanks to everyone in the DFW area that made this weekend a wonderful one. It was great to see old friends (ADP excepted) and just as great to make new ones.

Over the course of the weekend it became painfully clear that my moustachio would not pass the bar as long as it was blonde. I ended up getting some pretty decent growth (except for in the Hitler area) but it was still impossible to see except up close. After a pretty heated debate about whether or not I should dye it I internally decided that it'd be gone at the end of the weekend.

Something the group of us kinda got obsessed with over the course of Saturday afternoon is Ninja Warrior on G4 tv. For those of you that don't know what this is, watch this video:

Robby and I were constantly amazed at how freaking athletic the people making it through this were. I think in total I watched 3+hours of Ninja Warrior this weekend alone. I just tagged him as "Robby D" and I liked it. I liked it alot.

Anyways, Robby D and I were really psyched about finding a way to try this stuff out for fun in America so if anyone has suggestions I'd love to hear 'em.

Now I'm back in College Station with two art shows and two tests to go to over the next couple days. Fingers crossed they all go well.

On to the Double Down!

If I haven't told you yet I'm really excited about a new KFC sandwich called the Double Down that was released yesterday.

I've come to describe the sandwich as such: it's a bacon, cheese and spiced mayonnaise sandwich except instead of a bun it's stuck in between two fried chicken breasts.

I'm not kidding. Here's a picture.

Now, being the connoisseur of everything fried I'm not gonna pass this up. This is the holy grail of fried chicken products and I will have it. I think I'm gonna go in tomorrow and see how it treats me.

I expect it to treat me like my family's miniature dachshund treats our kitchen floor and I don't think I need to elaborate on that.

My goal for the last year or so of my college tenure has been to ensure that I have a heart attack by the age of 25 and I feel like this is gonna get me back on pace.

Dangit. I just spent 5 minutes signing up for the KFC email list thinking I'd get a Double Down coupon. That's 5 minutes I'm never getting back.

Anyways I'll try to document my experience with the double down as best I can.

If I die mid-meal I give you permission to raid my Moleskine and find out how my last minutes on earth tasted.

Day 2 Photo

My creepy mustache on day two of being a standalone. It looks way better in Black and White than in color. Hence the B&W photo. Only one creeped out stare today. It was from a sorority girl who I may have accidentally initiated eye contact with.

The Stache-tastic Voyage

First things first here's a shoutout for my newest follower Jill Dhonau! I dedicate this blogpost to you and your 21st birthday (which is today).

First things second, watch this video:

This video was an inspiration for me.

Look at that hunk of a man and his beautiful mustache!

LOOK AT IT!

It was at that moment that I decided I wanted to embark on my very own Stache-tastic Voyage.

I hadn't shave for a while at this point anyways, so I went to the bathroom, took off my shirt and got down to work.

Needless to say, my mustache looks nothing like Taylor Rice's (guy in the video) mustache.

Right now I look like I'm involved in an episode of "To Catch a Predator". I was turned away from two parks and the only Chuck E. Cheese in College Station yesterday and now I'm looking over my shoulder hoping I don't see:

right behind me.

I haven't taken any pictures yet but if there's enough public outcry I might hire a photographer to take a few glamour shots.

My hope at the moment is that I'll have a respectable 'stache by this weekend for a friend's birthday party.

I know I wasn't very good about updating during Beardfest 2KX but I'll try to be better about this one. They won't all be long but I'll definitely detail y'all on what locations I've been kicked out and how many creeped out looks I get.

Game on.

SXSW Followup/Death of Beardfest 2KX

OK, so as I write this I'm enjoying a huge black cup of coffee with a donut that looks alot like this:

I haven't had a besprinkled (if it wasn't a word before it is now) donut since forever ago. I feel I've become less adventurous as I age because 10 years ago I would've bolted straight for all this colourful goodness without being forced into it (they were out of sprinkle-less chocolate). In my professional opinion, sprinkles have doubled my enjoyment of this donut.

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Alright, back on track. I'm following up on my Spring Break post where I talked about SXSW. Of my listed goals while I was in Austin I would say I accomplished about two out of the seven things I stated I was gonna do. Austin was experiencing some turrible weather the day I decided to visit. Temperatures in the 40s, lotsa rain, lotsa wind. This weather factored into where I ended up going. I didn't wanna have to wait by myself for very long in that kinda weather so I broke down and met Sara and Ashley (Arlington friends) at the Rachel Ray SXSW party. Before I go any further I wanna say that these two are absolutely adorable humans and made my day so so awesome.

So anyways, I was gonna be seeing the Black Keys/Broken Bells/She & Him. What I ended up seeing was a show by Andrew W.K. (man knows how to party), Dr. Dog (so so good, I accosted the bassist at the end of the show and I think we bonded), Jakob (I swear, my dad's famous, guys) Dylan, and She & Him! Zooey Deschanel was as captivating as ever and M. Ward managed to throw some creeptastic vibes in from the side of the stage.

Long story short, it's not what I planned but I had an absolute blast (thanks SarAshley!).

To close of SXSW here are some pictures courtesy of Sara!

Rachael Ray and Matthew McConaughey

Andrew W.K.

Dr. Dog

M. Ward without creeptastic facial hair

Zooey Deschanel

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As for Beardfest2KX... Towards the end I was getting comments like "Dude, could you be any manlier" and "can I touch it?" but I don't think I'm quite enough of a man to grow a beard yet. It ended up lasting about a week (due to un-forseen formal circumstances) and I'm calling this year a failure. But I have high hopes for 2K11... Very high hopes.

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Additional benefits of sprinkled donuts that I just now realized: if you get lucky you'll end up finding a rogue sprinkle or two in the bottom of your coffee cup.

I just found three.

Beardfest 2KX

Title pretty much says it all.

Ever since I can remember I wanted to grow a beard. And since my freshman year of college I've held annually an event that I like to call "Beardfest". During Beardfest I go as long as I possibly can without shaving to see if I've become enough of a man to grow a beard. Usually it takes 1-2 weeks to know for sure if my facial hair has what it takes to grow a full, beautiful beard.

Beardfest 2K7 was a miserable failure.

Beardfest 2K8 showed more promise but ultimately ended the same as the year before.

Beardfest 2K9 was cut short due to a series of unfortunate circumstances.

That brings us to Beardfest 2KX, which began on Sunday, March 21st. So far things are sparse, to say the least, but it has only been 3 days so far and it's way too early to tell. I'll keep y'all updated as to how things go.

I don't mean to be pessimistic but I don't have real high hopes for 2KX. Maybe it'll happen but probably not. I'm looking forward to 2K11 and 2K12 to be my years of real growth.

I'll leave you with some of my beard inspiration.

Unfortunately I can't find a single photo of Evan Kirkendall's beard but he's also a huge inspiration for me.

Seacrest out.

On the temporality of human ability.

I remember my last basketball game in high school. We were in the lowest class of a sports conference that meant little to nothing in terms of real athletic competition but those days playing ball in high school meant everything to me.

The very last game of competitive basketball I played was right after I'd been in the hospital for two weeks. I was weak and probably shouldn't have played but that didn't matter at the time. You could have told me I was going to die 5 minutes after the game and I would have played still knowing it was the last thing I'd do on earth. Evan, Kenny, Sam and Jacob probably remember every moment of that game more than I do. One of two things I remember from that game is a shot I missed. Sam gave me a perfect behind-the-back pass for an easy bucket and I just flat out missed because I was too weak from being sick and underestimated it. I'll never forget that miss for the rest of my life.

The only other part of that game I'll ever remember is right after in the locker room. I cried because I knew I'd lost something. When we lost that game we lost the opportunity to play basketball in an arena that mattered. No more win-loss record, no more practice, no more fans. It was all over.

I was taken back to that moment in my life tonight. The Aggies lost their NCAA tournament game against Purdue today and some of us went to meet them at the arena as they arrived back in College Station. While we were waiting at the arena for them to arrive I thought of all the encouraging things I would say to them "You carried us all season, thank you", "There's only so much you can do before it's out of your hands", "you did everything you could". When they got there all I could think of was that moment in high school when it was all over. There were no words that could salvage that moment. Nothing changed what happened and what they lost when that game ended. I looked Bryan Davis and Donald Sloan in the eye and I shook their hands but I didn't try any of the encouraging phrases I'd come up with while we waited. They experienced today a thousand times the amount of pain I have in knowing their dream has died. They competed with the best on the biggest stage and fell short of their dreams. Nothing will change that.

That leads me to the point of this post. Everything in this world is limited based on time. Natural aging and other, more arbitrary, rules regarding time control how long we are able to pursue what we want and what we're good at. Tonight made me realize, in the same way as that last high school basketball game did, that nothing lasts forever. We need to do everything we can to the best of our ability while we can. That chance doesn't last forever.

Mid-break update!

OK, so I'm sitting in McDonald's in Georgetown, Texas because I thought I could catch the first half of the Aggie game before I hit my grandparents house. Turns out the game is at 3:45 (not 2:45 as I anticipated) so I've got some time to kill.

First things first, this is hands down the nicest McDonald's I've ever been in. The restrooms were clean, they have fancy floral upholstery in their booths and the floor looks like I could eat off of it (but I'm not gonna try). All this said, even though it's the nicest McDs I've ever been to, it's still a fast food restaurant in a tiny Texas town and I'd rather be somewhere else.

So, update of how my Spring Break is going: I've had a great time just relaxing, hanging with friends and watching basketball on my laptop (our TV ain't operational right now). I've been to downtown Houston (first picture from last post), now I'm in Georgetown (second photo) and barring any sort of catastrophe, tomorrow I will be in Austin, Texas (last photo)! I'm pretty excited about that.

I'm gonna get to see College Station friends, Austin friends, Arlington friends, Corsicana friends and then all the friends I'm gonna make over the course of the rest of the weekend. I'm totally psyched.

Bands I'm gonna see at SXSW shows:

I'm real ready to hit the ATX.

You follow one kid home, rip out his eyes and suddenly you're a "killer" squirrel

Afternoon folks. I have class in 30 minutes and a wicked mid-term exam set for 8:30 this evening. What does that mean? Right now is the perfect time to write a blog.

So far blogging's only fun for me when it's stealing time from something I should actually be doing.

Blogging is a time vampire and I'm the Twilight obsessed tween waiting for it to suck me dry.

This being said, I've been thinking a lot about spring break. Everybody has plans for what they're doing for the break but I'm not exactly that kinda guy. My plans are about as set as the jello I put in my fridge 5 minutes ago.

I've been having trouble accepting my limitations lately and I need to work on that.

How are you gonna do that Zach?!

Well, I'm glad you asked.

If I didn't have any limitations in my life with regards to where I could go and what I could do for Spring break (money, time, family, social obligations) I would go

here

here

here

Most definitely here

I imagine Barcelona would go something like this:

But part of understanding my limitations is accepting the truth. So for this Spring Break I will:

be here

probably go here

hopefully go here

...do everything in my power to end up here.

I may be confined to Texas for this break but I'm thinking about the positives:

Texas is a massive state with amazing countryside, full of new opportunities and wonderful people I haven't met yet. So if you see me this break and I don't seem like I'm having fun, here's what you can do: you can buy me a drink (hey, I did just turn 21) and remind me of all the fun I can have if I just open my eyes to the beauty around me and accept my limitations.

Your art... is the prettiest art... of all the art

When I was at the Tate Britain with my brother and sister last summer I happened to stumble across this piece by Jozef Pankiewicz. I can't comment too much on it's artistic value (I know next to nothing about painting) but I can tell you that I love it. I wrote about a page and a half of notes on it when I was there but you don't want to read those, they're boring!

Instead I'll just give you a song to go with it:

New Beginnings

I sat down in the coffee shop to write something epic for my first blog post.

Here's what I came up with:

I'm tired.

I should be studying.

My house has no electricity.

I'll do this later.