Hey you! Thanks.

Hola, amigos. What up? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things got crazy, if you know what I mean. Props to anyone who knows from which author that previous sentence was stolen (without googling it, Jimmie). Anyways, it has been a while but I'm a college student so I was doing college student-y stuff. Gimme a break.

So... this is gonna be a pretty serious-like blog post and I'm still not sure how I feel about blogging on topics that are really important to me. I may choose to leave this up, I may not.

If you've hung out with me lately and we've had some time to talk I'm pretty sure you're heard me lament the speed at which I've finally realized time is passing. I've probably told you that in 10 years I'll be 31 and in 2090 (choosing a specific year helps me realize how close and tangible the amount of time involved is) I will most likely be dead.

Relatively speaking, I'm not gonna be alive much longer. Neither are you.

This realization has impacted my life in some pretty practical ways. Now I spend my days trying not to fall into patterns. It's too easy to have a conversation with someone without thinking but instead relying on social norms and colloquialisms to make sure nothing actually ever gets said. If I'm going to use precious time talking to someone, why not make sure something worthwhile actually gets said? If we talk and it seems like I'm falling into a conversational rut please mention it. I don't want to waste your time or mine with something utterly devoid of meaning.

I'm still trying to work out how this should all impact my future. The standard decision after going to college is getting a full-time job and working 'til retirement. I'm not sure if that's what I want. Since time is so valuable, is trading my time for money really something I want to do? And at a certain point, what amount of money worth a certain amount of my time? In the grand scheme of things, money is replenish-able and time is not so would there ever be a fair exchange? I'd definitely appreciate thoughts on that point if you'd like to give them (in the comment box, in person, whatever. I'd really like to hear some opinions).

I've been on the world's biggest Yeasayer kick lately and I feel like their song "Red Cave" (posted above) is really representative of my current approach to life, or at the very least what I'd like my approach to be. The final line of the song (OK, the last like... 30 lines) is:

"I'm so blessed to have spent good time with my family and the friends I love. In my short life I have met so many people I deeply care for."

Ultimately I would say that's what this blog post is about. It's about people. I love my family and my friends so much (though I may not always love them in the way they need to be loved). In a slightly different way I'm grateful to absolutely everyone who has been a part of my life, no matter how brief or long the period of time or the value judgment placed on our interaction in terms of whether it was "good" or "bad". I put good and bad in quotations there to emphasize the fact that no matter how the individual experiences my life is made of turned out at the time, those experiences (both "good" and "bad") shaped me into who I am today. And that conglomeration of experiences resulted in me---my personality, my mind, my take on the world.

I'm assuming that you're reading this blog because you know me, so in light of that last paragraph I would like to say thank you. I've been blessed with an awesome family, amazing friends (who are still friends with me even when I act like a jackass) and the time to spend with those people.

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If you made it all this way and read the giant text-fist above you deserve a treat. Here's a picture to brighten your day:

I don't know if you're aware but I freaking love baby penguins. So much.

Shout outs to:

Austin Smith: currently scouring the Italian countryside for a suitable wife.

Hannah Smith: currently caring for some "presh" children in the vaterland (Germany).

Beverly Smith: currently in the US but leaving soon for the Oberammergau Passion Play (check that link, it's a really amazing story).

Zak Kirkendall: this kid actually reads my blog. I appreciate this.

Molly Ford: she said she'd both read and comment on this post. Idn't she cool?